Cleaning Up
ChildrenI WANT YOU TO FORGIVE HIM FOR EVERY OFFENSE. Oh Lord, I will as soon as he understands what he’s done that is so offensive.
I WANT Y0U TO FORGIVE HIM RIGHT NOW AND TEAR UP THE LIST. But, but Lord, I mentally sputtered, I can’t do that yet because then he will never know what he’s doing wrong.
THAT’S BETWEEN HIM AND ME. THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
I can’t, I groaned, my heart and feet heavy with weariness from carrying a full load of bitterness. Traffic roared in the distance, but in my head was the roar of a lion, trying to drown the still, small, but commanding voice. How could I just let go of the multitude of past offenses and future expectations? Help me, Lord, I don’t know how to get rid of them.
GIVE THEM TO ME. Even without his knowing how much I’m forgiving? YES, GIVE THEM TO ME. So, reluctantly, slowly, but obediently, I tore the list into shreds. Immediately, the roar was like a flood wiping my son’s slate clean, washing from my memory all but the one small kitchen mess. I felt like I’d lost a literal twenty-pound burden that I had allowed to pile up during my son’s teenage years. I almost floated home.
I did a lot of pruning of shrubbery that weekend. There was much that needed to be dumped. However, I had no way of hauling it away, so I piled it in the front yard.
My son dropped by later that weekend and I was secretly pleased at not feeling irritated, and instead, actually glad to see him. But I was dumbstruck with awe, when he said, “I see you’ve been cleaning up the yard. I’ll take that stuff to the dump for you tomorrow, if you want.”
“Why, thank you!” I said. “That would be a great help.”
Little did he know how great was that help in affirming that my struggle was not with him. Looking back, I realize my irritability truly is between God and me. God continually uses my irritability to make me more dependent on Him. It seems we are never quite independent. God removed the bitterness towards my son, but there will always be irritants in my life. However, God says His power is best seen in our weakness. So, since I can’t get rid of irritation, I’m depending on God to do the dumping, not my son.
Incidentally, ten years later, my beautiful daughter-in-law told me, without my asking, that my son is a very thoughtful, considerate, responsible husband.
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Beautiful...funny..enlightening story!