Deliverance from my Private Hell
HealingFor the next ten years I saw psychiatrists, mental health counselors and health practitioners. I had thirty-some shock treatments and obedient to my physicians, I swallowed a wide range of tranquilizers and sedatives that depleted my system and nearly killed me. Massive doses of prescribed drugs caused addiction and severe allergies to all medications. I was full of poison. I felt dead. My body shut down. My doctors said I was dying.
I started selling Avon in spite of my difficulties. I knew I wouldn’t make any money, but I was desperate to see ordinary people. Little did I know what would happen when I knocked on one particular door.
A very ordinary looking woman, holding a baby, opened the door and invited me in. However, in her kitchen, surrounded by several children, she showed me extra-ordinary kindness and patience. She spoke extra-ordinary words.
There was a light in this woman that began breaking through the darkness in me, although I did not yet comprehend it. On the outside everything appeared the same but a miracle was in progress –a miracle that would transform my life, taking me from darkness to light. My prayers were beginning to be answered.
“How can you be so patient with all this commotion?” I asked the young mother as her children scurried about the room. “I couldn’t do it. I’m so sick I can barely stand.” Then I said, “I can’t quit smoking.”
“Who said that?” she gently asked with a smile.
Puzzled, I answered, “What do you mean? I said that.”
“Who said that?” she asked again.
I asked myself the same question, and then suddenly realized - “The devil said it!” I had heard his accusations and despairing remarks for so long, I thought the words were my own thoughts because he was always whispering, ‘you can’t.’
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Linda, was Mary the lady you spoke about when you were selling Avon and she had peace with all of the commotion? I think your story was great, God never leaves you when you come to him. I know at times, I think where have you gone, are you still with me. I just hang in there, keep up the faith, even when its hard. Then I find, there you are, and it is such a confort. Linda I know you have had some very difficult moments in your life time, but please just hang on in the really rough times, be patient, then watch him work!