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My daughter, Madison, was 4 years old and could barely talk. She spoke in 3-4 word utterances like, “Madison hungry, Madison outside”. I took her to a special school for testing. I thought all she needed was some speech therapy and she’d be fine.  She was my only child and I didn’t know what was wrong.

She was tested by 4-5 special school testers. After they asked her to do things, tried to play with her, then they all went into a little room to “process their findings”.

Then they all came out and we sat around a round table as they each, one by one, told me why my daughter had Autism.  I was completely shocked. After the second tester confirmed the first I couldn’t listen anymore.  I tried but I all I could hear was a ringing in my ears.

I grew up with older brothers and I tried to never let them see me cry.  I learned at an early age to hold in my tears and cry when I was alone.  I’ve been married for almost 20 years now and I can count on one hand how many times my husband has seen me cry.

I heard ringing then had a HUGE lump in my throat so I couldn’t really talk.  All I could think of was, ‘get to the car then you can cry and let this out’, get to the car and you can scream and shout and cry.”

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