God Is Real
I just knew I was killing myself.
I was brought up not to believe in God, my Dad was a police man and my mom’s a nurse. I grew up listening to “God bothers all a bunch of nutters” and so on.
At the age of 13, I started using drugs, LSD, Speed, Weed and by the age of 18, I was addicted to Heroin and was smoking Crack. I fell pregnant and tried staying clean long enough to have my daughter Trinity (I hadn’t got a clue what that name meant I just thought it was different). When Trinity was born I tried to get clean but just kept falling back.
Six years on and I was still using, my partner left pretty much after Trinity was born. I had managed to keep a job as a secretary at a charity organization, where I met a woman (you know I cant remember her name, but God does so I ask him to bless her very often!) who had been ordained - I didn’t know what that meant either! She started talking to me at work and said she’d prayed for me to have some love. I just thought ‘yeah what ever God bothering Nutter!’ but she kept talking to me (she obviously knew there was something very wrong with me as I’m almost 6 foot tall and I weighed under 8 stone).
One day when she was talking to me I felt all strange and burst into tears and she told me that was God’s love and all I had to do was offer my life to him. I still held back.
Months went and I was struggling with just being alive. I’d tried everything to give up heroin. I’d sellotaped photos of Trinity to my arm and just ended up taking them off again. I was so desperate.
It was Valentines day 2004 and on that evening I stood naked in the mirror and just knew I was killing myself. That night in bed I prayed. I had never prayed before. I said “God I’m handing my life over to you, I’m not asking for you to make me stop but please give me the strength to help me”.
I never used again. I said for years it would be too rude not to believe in God! I am fully aware that God is real, we play games together, I love him more than I can express, he is my best friend.
God has done so many amazing things in my life that even my parents are questioning there own beliefs. I praise God with all my heart and soul.