Where is the love?
.. if I couldn’t move myself beyond this cycle then God most definitely had nothing to offer me.
Ah! Where does one begin when talking about their relationship with God? While I have several specific instances in which God has revealed Himself to me, none of them would have been possible without His love and forgiveness.
There was a time in my life when I prayed for forgiveness regularly, I took communion routinely, and even thought I was forgiving to others. The reality, however, was quite different.
I lived in a horrible cycle of self-defeating comments, of internal and external judgment, and hate and discouragement. Truth be told, I had no way of fully grasping this concept of pure love and grace. As an imperfect human, I didn’t understand what it meant to have my slate wiped clean. I didn’t understand the premise that all discoloration was washed away white as snow. I didn’t understand that God loved me fully and completely; that in His eyes I am not the fragmented person I felt like. I didn’t understand this because I was incapable of such powerful expression myself. I still held the grudges of my past, which I stated as being released. I still held on to my pain and misfortune. I held the bitterness of my own mistakes. I held the resentment of the mistakes of others. Within this cycle I was able to justify God not loving me. I was able to justify my unloving behaviors and actions, and those of other people. After all, if I couldn’t see the love, if I couldn’t feel the forgiveness, and if I couldn’t move myself beyond this cycle then God most definitely had nothing to offer me.
Grace
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Robert
A great reminder that ought to precede our actions, where is the love. Thank you for this reminder in world that encourages us to forget it.